1
00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:09,259
I found you a man.
2
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:16,850
Barbra Jean, for the 15th time,
I'm not dating your grandpa.
3
00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:20,854
You missed the boat.
4
00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:22,689
He ran off with his day nurse.
5
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,025
Well, not so much ran as...
6
00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:29,195
[grunting]
7
00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:34,534
But I know you need
a little help in this area,
8
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:37,912
so I signed you up
for an online dating service.
9
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,081
What do you mean?
10
00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:44,502
Dating is when two people
who like each other go out in public.
11
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:51,009
Cheyenne, they're called, "a latte,"
because they cost a lot.
12
00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,135
[Cheyenne] Oh.
13
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,221
Van, when you asked me to watch Elizabeth
14
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:57,307
while you went to the store
to get her some orange juice,
15
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:59,017
I didn't think you meant in Florida.
16
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,978
Sorry, it took so long, Mrs. H,
17
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:03,688
but I couldn't remember
which kind Elizabeth liked,
18
00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:06,107
so I had to call Cheyenne
who needed a ride home from the library.
19
00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:07,150
Yeah, so he picked me up,
20
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,152
and since both of us were hungry,
we decided to go to lunch.
21
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,236
Hmm.
22
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:12,572
So where's the juice?
23
00:01:16,659 --> 00:01:17,702
Shoot!
24
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:21,247
Can you watch Elizabeth
while I run to the store to get the juice?
25
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,249
Oh, you might want to get
some aspirin for yourself.
26
00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:24,250
Why do I need aspirin?
27
00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:25,835
- Ow.
- For your headache!
28
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:26,836
Mom.
29
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:31,508
Guys, will you please tell
Miss 19th Century here
30
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:34,594
that online dating is a great way
to meet compatible men?
31
00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:35,929
- Oh, yeah.
- Well, tell 'em to wear a helmet.
32
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,976
Reba, at least, take a look
at who the computer picked for you.
33
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:44,103
I mean, one of these guys
could be your soulmate.
34
00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:46,898
Hey, what about Steve the mortician?
35
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,859
Or, or Greg the prison guard?
36
00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:53,279
Or Jorge who works at the zoo?
37
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:58,076
Oh, that guy's a keeper, yeah.
38
00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:06,126
- Zookeeper!
- Okay, yeah.
39
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,210
[laughing] Good one.
40
00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,505
You know, Mom, maybe you should date 'em.
41
00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:11,756
It might put you in a better mood.
42
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,425
You have been
a little cranky lately, Mrs. H.
43
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:15,343
Don't hit me.
44
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:16,469
[groans]
45
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,223
Did you ever stop to think
that I wouldn't be so cranky
46
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:22,392
if I didn't have five loads of laundry,
47
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:25,061
babysittin' job and dishes to wash?
48
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:26,396
Well, okay, look.
49
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,691
I can do the dishes,
Van can do everything else, I mean...
50
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:34,279
what's a little housework
compared to you finding your soulmate?
51
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:38,074
- Well, I have been a little cranky lately.
- Yeah.
52
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:39,993
- I do need somethin'.
- [Cheyenne] Mmm-hmm.
53
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,829
[sing-song] And I know what it is.
54
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:48,334
It starts with an, "L," ends in an, "E."
55
00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:50,253
Has an, "O" and a, "V."
56
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,088
- Rhymes with dove.
- Yeah.
57
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:54,382
- Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo--
- Oh, all right.
58
00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:56,634
- I hate you.
- [laughs]
59
00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:58,469
What do I have to be worried about?
60
00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:00,263
That I'm gonna meet a crazy person?
61
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:04,601
[mouthing letters]
62
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,477
[chattering indistinctly]
63
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,024
"Love".
64
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,485
- Yeah, you got it.
- All right.
65
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:16,029
[theme song playing]
66
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,363
[Reba] Hey, hey.
67
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:20,742
{\an8}♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪
68
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:23,077
{\an8}♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪
69
00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:27,373
♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪
70
00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:29,959
{\an8}♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪
71
00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:32,420
♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪
72
00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:34,130
♪ With gentle hands ♪
73
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:36,424
{\an8}♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪
74
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:42,972
{\an8}♪ I'm a survivor ♪
75
00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:53,441
I can't believe I said
we'd pick up the slack
76
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,026
when Mom's out cattin' around.
77
00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:57,987
{\an8}And look, Van,
78
00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:01,241
{\an8}can you believe that someone hid
dirty dishes in the bottom of the hamper?
79
00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:03,660
{\an8}Ah, Jake.
80
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,080
{\an8}That little scamp.
81
00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:11,209
{\an8}Knock, knock.
82
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:12,919
{\an8}Is your mom back from her coffee date yet?
83
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:13,878
{\an8}Oh, yeah, she's back.
84
00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:15,588
{\an8}I'm just preparin' for surgery.
85
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,761
I don't see
why they had to go out for coffee.
86
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,596
I mean, that's what she and I do together.
87
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,266
But I'm okay, you know?
88
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,892
{\an8}Because if this guy works out,
89
00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:30,853
{\an8}it'll mean that I set Reba up
with the love of her life.
90
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:33,273
{\an8}We'll bond over her first date,
91
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,440
{\an8}her first kiss,
92
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,650
{\an8}their first fight,
93
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,527
{\an8}where I'll have to comfort her.
94
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,195
{\an8}"There, there, Reba."
95
00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:41,572
"Let it out."
96
00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:43,992
Hello, loved ones.
97
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:46,494
Barbra Jean.
98
00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:50,707
So, how did it go?
99
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:51,708
{\an8}Well, I have to say,
100
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:54,168
{\an8}that was one of the best afternoons
I've had in a long time.
101
00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:55,753
{\an8}Real happy for you, Mrs. H,
102
00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:57,088
{\an8}but Cheyenne and I
are goin' to the movies.
103
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,631
{\an8}So, trash needs to be taken out.
104
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,341
{\an8}Dishes in the hamper.
See ya.
105
00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:02,468
{\an8}Oh, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
106
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,262
{\an8}Hang on. You didn't let me finish.
107
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:07,890
{\an8}He also asked me out for dinner tonight,
so you guys'll have to stay in.
108
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,476
{\an8}What? This is so unfair.
109
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:12,603
{\an8}You know what, after I've done today,
I'm not cooking dinner.
110
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:15,023
Believe me, Cheyenne, nobody wants that.
111
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:22,196
Well, seein' as I played cupid
on this one,
112
00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:23,948
when do I get to meet Mr. Wonderful?
113
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,701
Didn't I already set you up with a man?
114
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:37,295
See, Jake, when I ask, "How was your day,"
115
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,921
and you say, [flatly] "Fine,"
116
00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:40,840
you know, that is not real communication.
117
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:43,342
I mean, friends talk to each other,
you know?
118
00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:45,344
Even after they've made new friends.
119
00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:47,472
A little somethin'
I wish your mother knew.
120
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:50,725
Now, I have told you the story
about how I got fired from a llama ranch
121
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:53,061
because I sang to the animals, okay.
122
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:57,440
Now, the least you could do is tell me
one lousy thing about your day.
123
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,816
- [door opens]
- Reba?
124
00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:01,069
Oh, crap.
125
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,574
Let me guess, Reba's out on a date again.
126
00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:08,576
Mmm-hmm, yeah, yeah.
Third night this week.
127
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,369
Please send me home.
128
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:14,165
Sorry, buddy,
I'm sure your mom will be back soon.
129
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,958
Listen, why don't you
go hang out with Henry?
130
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:18,920
Honey, I'm worried about that boy.
131
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:24,300
Being abandoned by his mother
is causing him to shut down emotionally.
132
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,344
Oh, come on, Barbra Jean.
133
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:29,972
You made him watch your DVD
of The Way We Were three times.
134
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,769
He's not shutting down, he's playing dead.
135
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:36,395
Hmm.
136
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:41,359
Fine. All right, it's me.
137
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:42,568
I miss her.
138
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,321
This morning I had coffee with her photo.
139
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,283
- Reba.
- Sorry, love to chat.
140
00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:50,326
Don't have anything to say.
141
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:51,494
Jake, let's go.
142
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:53,913
So, uh, Reba.
143
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,958
How was your date with this
so-called, "really great guy"?
144
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:59,252
Oh, wonderful.
We had dinner and caught an early movie.
145
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,003
Reba, you need to, you need to slow down.
146
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:02,463
This is just happening too fast.
147
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:04,090
You need to see other people.
148
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:05,508
I'm available.
149
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:11,180
No, I'm not gonna slow down
or see other people.
150
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:14,475
As hard as it is to believe,
I have found someone wonderful.
151
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:16,185
Someone who appreciates me.
152
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,855
Someone I think I could
spend the rest of my life with.
153
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,065
As a matter of fact, I think I'm in love.
154
00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:23,025
It's about time, don't you know
they're in here talkin' to me?
155
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:32,952
Are you really in love, Mom?
156
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,622
Jake, can you keep a secret?
157
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:38,416
Am I gonna have a little brother?
158
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:41,377
Sit down.
159
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,092
Jake, I'm not in love.
160
00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:49,886
I'm not even seein' anybody.
161
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,762
I'm just pretendin'
to go out on these dates
162
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:53,931
so I can have a little alone time for me.
163
00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:55,641
You know, take a break from the loony bin.
164
00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:58,603
I hear ya.
165
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,272
Dad and I didn't really join the Scouts.
166
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,202
Really?
167
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,537
Then what do you guys do every Saturday?
168
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:19,373
Hey, are we keepin' secrets here or not?
169
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:36,599
All right, fine, Jake.
170
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,893
But you're missin' out
on a whole lot of fun.
171
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,771
What are you yellin' about?
172
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,440
I was tryin' to pull that old
Tom Sawyer, "paint the fence," trick,
173
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,942
tellin' him foldin' laundry's fun.
174
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,068
But he's no idiot.
175
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,449
Hey, Cheyenne.
176
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:57,495
Did you know foldin' laundry
is good for your skin?
177
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,707
Hey, has Reba left for her date yet?
178
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:04,085
No, she's in the kitchen,
which is spotless thanks to me.
179
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:06,712
[loudly] And she better
not be makin' a mess in there!
180
00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:10,967
Hey, Barbra Jean,
did you know that folding laundry
181
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,677
lifts and firms your buttocks?
182
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:17,890
Yeah, right.
183
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,146
So, uh...
184
00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:34,115
Have you two met this guy
your mom's been datin'?
185
00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:36,492
No, and I'm beginning to think
that's a little weird.
186
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,536
Yeah, well, I, for one,
am not gonna trust this guy
187
00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,162
until he comes to the house,
meets the family,
188
00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:42,540
and starts pickin' up
his share of the chores around here.
189
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:45,960
This is just so ridiculous.
190
00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,129
You know, I can give her
everything a man can.
191
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,177
Um...
192
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,180
Yeah, look.
193
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:03,519
Reba clearly does not
want us to meet this guy.
194
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:05,271
That's not really fair to him.
195
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,566
So I think we should track down this guy
and see what he wants.
196
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:12,028
That's a good idea. Okay.
197
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:13,571
I got a plan
198
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,948
to figure out where she's going tonight.
199
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:16,991
- [Cheyenne] Mmm-hmm.
- [Brock] Huh.
200
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:17,908
Watch...
201
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:19,702
and learn.
202
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:22,872
Hey, Van, you know what?
203
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,707
I think it really does feel firmer. I'm--
204
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:26,125
- [mouthing]
- I'm, uh...
205
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:28,836
So, Reba.
206
00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:31,047
Where are you going tonight?
207
00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:36,844
Reverse psychiatry. Nice.
208
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:39,930
Why do you want to know?
209
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:43,017
We, uh, we need to know
where you're gonna go
210
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,602
just in case we need to call you,
211
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,729
- just in case of an emergency.
- Yeah.
212
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,398
- I have my cell.
- [Cheyenne] Oh, okay.
213
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:52,026
Well, what if you're havin',
uh, dinner in the mountains
214
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,277
and we can't reach your cell?
215
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,822
There are no mountains in Houston, Van.
216
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:01,285
Well, what if you're havin' dinner
in an underground bunker made of lead?
217
00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:02,203
[chuckles]
218
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,413
We'll sit by an underground window.
219
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:13,464
She's got an answer for everything!
220
00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:15,800
Okay, Plan "B."
221
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,218
- Here's what we do.
- Yeah?
222
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:19,678
We call her cell,
we record the background noise,
223
00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:22,306
we have it analyzed
by a restaurant sound expert.
224
00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:23,307
Bam, we got 'em.
225
00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:24,266
That's good.
226
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,893
[telephone rings]
227
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,354
- [beeps]
- Hello?
228
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,189
Yeah. Yes.
229
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,775
Hi. Yes, thank you very much.
230
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:34,318
[beeps]
231
00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:36,070
That was Petit Jacques
232
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:38,572
calling to confirm
Mom's dinner reservation tonight.
233
00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:39,698
- [Brock chuckles]
- [Cheyenne] Yeah.
234
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,033
Okay, here's what we do.
235
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:41,951
Okay.
236
00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:43,994
We call Petit Jacques.
237
00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:46,914
- We record the background noise.
- Yeah.
238
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,624
We have it analyzed
by a restaurant sound--
239
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:49,834
- Get in the car!
- Yeah.
240
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:54,088
Hey, Jake, could you tell Kyra
to watch Elizabeth for a bit?
241
00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:56,465
Sure. She gets 50 bucks an hour.
242
00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:58,426
What? No way.
243
00:11:58,968 --> 00:11:59,927
Seven bucks an hour,
244
00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:02,096
and she can talk on the phone
to the other witches in the coven.
245
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,599
Cheyenne, we don't need
to negotiate with him.
246
00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:07,101
He's tiny, and I can throw him.
247
00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:08,018
Okay.
248
00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:11,230
I speak for Kyra,
and the price just went to 60.
249
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,065
Wanna throw me now, Van?
250
00:12:24,743 --> 00:12:26,787
Can I buy you some dinner
to go with that wine?
251
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:28,330
[chuckles] Oh, no, thanks.
252
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:31,208
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize you were with someone.
253
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,126
Oh, I'm not.
254
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:34,420
Well, I am, sort of, but not really.
255
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,213
But, uh, thanks, but, no.
256
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:43,137
Somethin' tells me you're gonna
have a hard time deciding on an entrée.
257
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:45,389
[sarcastic chuckle]
258
00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:51,562
What are y'all doin' here?
259
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:52,730
You're gonna ruin my date.
260
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:53,647
Oh, yeah?
261
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:56,567
If it's such a great date,
how come you're reading a book?
262
00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:58,277
Oh, Lord.
263
00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,987
- He's a writer.
- Oh.
264
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,448
That's right, he's a writer.
265
00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:04,742
Oh, Reba, I see through your facade.
266
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,994
- Your date stood you up.
- [gasping]
267
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:11,332
What kind of a guy has a chance
to be with you and then leaves you?
268
00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:17,755
At the table.
269
00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:21,717
Look, guys, my date
did not stand me up, okay?
270
00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:23,344
Well, we're not leavin' until we meet him.
271
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:24,845
Okay, all right, all right, fine.
272
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,889
Fine. He's, um...
273
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,976
Um... Ah. There he is.
274
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:32,019
Excuse me.
275
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:33,812
[chuckling] Okay.
276
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,023
- I changed my mind. I want dinner.
- What?
277
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:38,984
Yeah, yeah, that's my family over there,
they're all crazy.
278
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:39,902
My name is Reba,
279
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,154
and if you would pretend
to be my boyfriend
280
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,198
then they'll probably
leave me alone, okay?
281
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:45,574
Now go. Smile.
282
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,159
Get your drink.
283
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,160
- [Brock clears throat]
- There you go.
284
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,037
- [laughs] Here he is.
- [Cheyenne] Hi.
285
00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:51,163
This is, uh...
286
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,040
my date.
287
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,834
- [Cheyenne] Mmm-hmm.
- Uh, date, this is my family.
288
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:56,919
Oh.
289
00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:59,213
You certainly know your way around a bar.
290
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,590
Thanks for takin' the 12 steps over here.
291
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,389
I'm Brock, the ex.
292
00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:10,683
- The shoes to fill.
- Oh, yeah.
293
00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:13,394
I'm Ted.
294
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:14,603
I'm...
295
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,106
Irena's boyfriend.
296
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,359
Her name's Reba.
297
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:24,530
He calls me Irena
298
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,074
because I remind him
of a Russian princess.
299
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:31,704
That is so cute.
300
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,374
Hey, what do you say we ditch this place,
301
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,375
go back to the house?
302
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:39,920
Mrs. H can whip up some supper,
and you can start foldin' some sheets.
303
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:40,838
Yeah.
304
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:42,756
[Barbra Jean] Yeah, so, Ted,
305
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:45,009
Reba hasn't really talked about you.
306
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:46,677
So talk.
307
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,346
Okay. Well, uh...
308
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:51,348
I like fishing. [chuckles]
309
00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:52,266
Me too.
310
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:53,893
- You do not.
- Do now.
311
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,480
She's my little fish girl.
312
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:03,485
[cellphone ringtone playing salsa music]
313
00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:04,820
Oh, that's me.
314
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:07,740
[clears throat] "Yello"?
315
00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:11,535
No, Jake, we did not talk about overtime.
316
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:13,996
I swear I will throw you!
317
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:17,499
So...
318
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:19,710
Ted.
319
00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:22,755
Tell me about Ted.
320
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:25,382
Well...
321
00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:26,800
My name's Ted.
322
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,928
Uh... and, uh,
323
00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:30,804
I'm a bicycle salesman from Ottawa.
324
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:32,222
I'm only in the States part time.
325
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:33,307
Canada.
326
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:35,392
Land of scam artists.
327
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,269
Yeah.
328
00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:40,189
I thought you were a writer.
329
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:41,982
No, no, no.
330
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:44,193
Rider, a bicycle rider.
331
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:46,987
Oh, you thought I meant book writer?
332
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:48,530
- Yeah.
- Oh, no. That's funny.
333
00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:50,157
I'd never date a book writer.
334
00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:52,117
- No, they're worse than musicians.
- Huh.
335
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:55,746
You're from Canada?
336
00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:57,748
But that's so far away.
337
00:15:58,540 --> 00:15:59,917
It's a beautiful place.
338
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,503
- You'll like it, Reba.
- Really?
339
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:04,463
What do you say?
340
00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:06,465
You want to get married?
341
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:07,549
[Cheyenne] What?
342
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:09,677
Well, Ted...
343
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:11,178
this is a little...
344
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:12,721
odd.
345
00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:15,349
[Barbra Jean] No.
346
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:16,892
No, no, she does not.
347
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:17,810
Barbra Jean--
348
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,061
I love this woman.
349
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:22,064
- And I'm takin' her to Canada.
- [Barbra Jean gasps]
350
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:24,942
[chuckles] Ted--
351
00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:25,859
Oh, yeah?
352
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:27,486
Well, I love her more.
353
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:30,030
And if I can't have her, no one can.
354
00:16:30,447 --> 00:16:31,323
Okay, you can have her.
355
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,324
Yeah, I thought so.
356
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:34,702
All right. All right, fine.
357
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:36,286
All right, it looks like
I'm payin' overtime.
358
00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:37,454
Can we speed this up, people?
359
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:38,831
Todd, get in the car, you're movin' in.
360
00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:41,208
Okay, that's it.
361
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:42,668
Ted is not my boyfriend.
362
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,253
I don't have a boyfriend.
363
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:46,880
The person I was dating was me.
364
00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:48,549
Well, then who's this guy?
365
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,843
Well, my name really is Ted, but...
366
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:53,470
I'm not a Canadian bicycle salesman.
367
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,848
I was just trying to be weird enough
to scare off your family.
368
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:57,683
Good luck.
369
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:02,646
So, Reba, you never had a date?
370
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:03,772
Yeah, I did.
371
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:07,401
I had a date set up with the zookeeper,
but he never showed.
372
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,363
But as I was sittin' there by myself,
I realized somethin'.
373
00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:14,324
I realized that I like
spendin' time by myself.
374
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,910
But I'm always so busy
takin' care of y'all
375
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:18,662
that I never get the chance to do that.
376
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:23,167
Oh, Mrs. H, you know what's a great way
of spendin' time with yourself?
377
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,626
Foldin' clothes.
378
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,672
I need some time away from the house.
379
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:31,258
And if that means goin' out,
readin' a book or learnin' French,
380
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:34,428
well, I don't think that's such a big deal
and it's not too much to ask.
381
00:17:34,678 --> 00:17:35,971
We're sorry, Mom.
382
00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:38,223
I guess we didn't realize
how much you did around the house
383
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,308
till we had to do it ourselves.
384
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:40,684
[Van] Yeah.
385
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:42,895
- We learned a valuable lesson.
- Mmm-hmm.
386
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,522
And it only cost me 80 bucks and an iPod.
387
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,109
You gave him my iPod?
388
00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:52,071
You had better backed up my,
"serenity back" mix, Van.
389
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,074
Well, Reba,
390
00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:57,785
glad you weren't dating a con man.
391
00:17:58,660 --> 00:17:59,912
And when you do find someone,
392
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,413
I hope he's at least as...
393
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,416
handsome and well put together as I am.
394
00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,710
Yeah, well, you deserve it.
395
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:08,879
Thanks, Brock.
396
00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:11,632
But I hope he doesn't have your bird legs.
397
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,177
You still think about 'em, don't you?
398
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:19,765
I'll be out in a minute, Tweety.
399
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,058
- All right.
- Sweetie!
400
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:28,065
Look, Reba, I'm...
401
00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:31,735
I'm really sorry that we all
came down here tonight to ruin your date.
402
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,531
I learned something about myself
that I don't like very much.
403
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:37,533
Turns out...
404
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:39,993
I would rather you were unhappy
and all mine
405
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:41,203
than happy with somebody else.
406
00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,081
Does that make me a bad person?
407
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:45,749
Oh, Barbra Jean.
408
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,334
Of course, it does.
409
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:54,591
It's just that I know that someday
you're gonna meet someone special, and...
410
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:58,595
I was gonna have to find a way
to deal with the loss of my best friend.
411
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,474
You know, Barbra Jean,
I realized somethin' a long time ago.
412
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:05,352
No matter where I go or who I meet
413
00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,938
or how many times
I change my phone number,
414
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:09,940
you'll hunt me down like a dog.
415
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,829
Well, thanks, Ted, you're a good sport.
416
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,583
You know, my family seems a little weird,
but that's only at first impression.
417
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:28,500
[laughs]
418
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,710
They're also dangerous.
419
00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:33,630
- My family's crazy too.
- Really?
420
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,008
But after meeting yours,
I think I'll call mine.
421
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,509
[laughing]
422
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:40,846
Hey, by the way,
what do you do for a living?
423
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:41,889
I'm a musician.
424
00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:48,520
Hey.
425
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,647
I just went to the kitchen
and got these myself.
426
00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:53,150
Hey, Reba, aren't you glad
I invited Ted to come over?
427
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:55,777
- Yeah, and we're so glad you stayed.
- [Barbra Jean laughs]
428
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:57,362
Isn't she a pistol?
429
00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:00,991
You know, I was just thinkin'
that if you two like each other,
430
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:03,327
technically, I introduced you.
431
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:05,245
- [Barbra Jean chuckles]
- That's true.
432
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,415
Reba never would have invited me over
if she didn't want you to...
433
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,042
go away.
434
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,960
[laughing]
435
00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:13,253
I know.
436
00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:14,588
Isn't life funny?
437
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:15,839
You know what else is funny?
438
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,758
This one time, Reba and I went bowling.
439
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,509
It's hilarious. It really...
440
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:21,386
Oh, okay. I get it.
441
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:23,472
You two want to be alone.
All right.
442
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:26,225
All right, Reba, you and I,
we will catch up later, okay?
443
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,560
Maybe we can have dinner here sometime.
444
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,395
Without Ted. [chuckles]
445
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,066
Call me.
446
00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:39,529
[closing theme music playing]
447
00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:09,518
{\an8}Acme! [coughing]